Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
