I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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