I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize