the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
This is classic penis vs brain.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
