Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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