Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
