Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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