I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
