I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
