Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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