besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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