I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
