she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
