She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
