**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
then he tried to convert me to islam
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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