8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
