considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
