The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize