the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
