I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
