dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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