Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
