we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
