Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
