So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
