I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
