Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
