My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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