Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
