last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
