sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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