we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
