It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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