are you still at the devil's house?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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