i think i have herpe
just one?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
