I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
