Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize