..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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