I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
