garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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