He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
