she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
