This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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