I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
