He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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