Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
