Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
