what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
