I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
