Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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