dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
