Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
