So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
