I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
