PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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