If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
