i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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