Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
