How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
