i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
