Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
