Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
